


Feathers Across the Seasons

by ImWithEnjolras



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: I'm Sorry, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-03
Updated: 2015-05-03
Packaged: 2018-03-28 19:05:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,754
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3866326
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImWithEnjolras/pseuds/ImWithEnjolras
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>They are watched over by the gods.</p><p>But the gods can only delay fate for so long.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Feathers Across the Seasons

**Author's Note:**

  * For [sarukonokomi](https://archiveofourown.org/users/sarukonokomi/gifts).



> For Jake. I'm sorry.
> 
> Listen to the Vocaloid song with the same title for extra feeling. ( https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R_4Ut1DI4wA )

The sound of wings cutting the air and thrashing catch his attention on his trek down the mountain. He walks a little further down and spots a crane struggling to fly as something holds it down. It cries out sadly as it tries to shake the thing off of its leg.

“Oh, you poor thing..” Tanaka slowly approaches the struggling bird tethered to the ground by a string trap, snow crunching under his feet. “What a beautiful crane.” A crane like this, with its fine, white feathers, would catch a huge sum in the market. Both for its meat and for the warmth its feathers would bring.

He keeps his hands raised, palms opened upwards, as he kneels down and the crane stops its movements. It watches him as he shrugs off the pack of wood he carries on his back with what Tanaka figures is an intelligent gaze.

“Smart and beautiful, huh? If only you were human…” He smiles warmly and the bird cocks its head to the side. Tanaka holds out his hand to the crane and it ducks into his palm, rubbing the black feathers on its head against his hand. Tanaka’s grin only widens. “Let’s get you out of this, hm?”

He ignores the shake in his fingers; even though his kimono is thick and layered, he had been outside for a long time already. He is incredibly gentle, so as not to startle the creature as he unties the string around its foot. When he finally slips it off, the crane lingers, so he gives it one last stroke on its head. “Be careful, my beautiful crane.”

The crane steps forward and bumps its head against Tanaka’s shoulder with a gentle coo before it flies away.

“Until we meet again,” he whispers into the wind. The snowfall grows heavier so he lifts his pack and makes his way home. He continues down the mountain singing about winter and loved ones left behind, the crane lingering on his mind. The smooth baritone of his voice caresses each note of the song as he sings, the wind carrying the words into the far reaches of the mountain.

 

さよならあなた私は帰ります

(Goodbye, my dear. I am going back)

風の音が胸をゆする 泣けとばかりに

(The sound of the wind shakes my chest and all I can do is cry)

あぁ津軽海峡冬景色

(Ah, the Tsugaru Strait winter scenery)

 

Three nights later, as he stokes the fire in his home, a knock on the door rouses him from his reverie. When he opens the door, he is met with the glittering, brown eyes of a dark-haired stranger.

“Hello,” Tanaka opens the door a little wider, noticing the slight shiver in the stranger’s shoulders. “It’s cold, would you like to come in?”

Wordlessly, the stranger steps in. The fire glows against their skin and when they pull back their hood, Tanaka is struck speechless by the stranger’s attractive features.

“I’m sorry for bothering you, but this is the first house I encountered with anyone living in it.” Tanaka gulps, still at a loss for words. The man’s voice is smooth and pleasant to Tanaka’s ears. “I’m Ennoshita Chikara.”

Tanaka coughs awkwardly. “Um..Tanaka Ryuunosuke!” He grins, thankful for the red-orange glow of the fire that hides the blush on his cheeks. “Did...anyone ever tell you how beautiful you are?”

Tanaka immediately wants to slap himself in the face; he should have never said that. He would have never said that to anyone, a stranger no less! But when he looks over, Ennoshita has a bright, wide smile.

“N-Not really,” he stutters. He cards a hand through his hair and, for some reason, Tanaka is reminded of the black feathers of the crane he helped a few nights ago.

“Come, join me by the fire,” Tanaka leads them to the fire and lays out another cushion for Ennoshita. The other man smiles as he kneels down beside Tanaka. The quiet between them is comfortable and the conversation they hold is warm.

The thing neither of the two realize, is that love comes easier in winter than any other season.

 

* * *

 

舞い落ちる粉雪が山の背を白く染める

_Falling flakes of powder snow covers the mountain ridge in white_

寂れた村の　あばら家で    二人、身を寄せ合う冬の夜

_In a rundown house in a ghostly village, we lean in close through the winter nights._

 

* * *

 

The winter months go by faster than Tanaka or Ennoshita realize.

“Stay with me, Chikara.” The shorter man looks at Tanaka with wide, hopeful eyes. But, still, he answers tentatively.

“Winter is almost over, Ryuu..” Ennoshita toys with the hem of his kimono, slightly forlorn.

“I want you longer than winter. I want your forever,” Tanaka takes a hold of Ennoshita’s hands resolutely, rubbing Ennoshita’s knuckles with his thumbs. “I’m in love with you. Be with me, Chikara.”

Ennoshita’s smile is more brilliant than the stars above them.

 

-x-

 

It is their first spring together and both of them are outside their - not just Tanaka’s anymore, because it _is_ theirs, just like everything else - home. Tanaka sits on the porch, sorting through the coloured strings for their loom. Ennoshita is a little further out in their garden, tending to the flowers, when a few song birds flutter around the man.

Tanaka puts the strings down in his lap and watches as Ennoshita laughs and sings with the birds. Tanaka smiles, closing his silver eyes to the sound of Ennoshita’s lilting tones. It is quiet a few moments later and Tanaka calls out to Ennoshita.

“What a beautiful voice!” The tender gaze that Tanaka has makes Ennoshita flush, but he smiles nonetheless. Ennoshita walks towards the man he’s come to love, heart aching with just how much he feels for Tanaka. It’s a simple a compliment, just a few words, really, but they warm Ennoshita like nothing else and he knows he has never been so happy.

“Will you still love me if one day I don’t sound beautiful anymore?” Ennoshita asks when he sits beside Tanaka. He means it as a joke, but he is still nervous for the reply. Tanaka doesn’t hesitate; instead he takes Ennoshita’s hand in his larger one, interlocking their fingers.

“Of course I will,” Tanaka easily replies, cupping Ennoshita’s cheek with his other hand. And he leans forward and steals the air from Ennoshita’s lungs with his kiss.

Later that night, when they are lying together, wrapped in each other’s arms and Ennoshita is just on the precipice of falling asleep. “Marry me, Chikara.”

Ennoshita is abruptly pulled from his near-sleep and he can feel his heart race. “Are you serious?” He looks at Tanaka for any sign of a joke or perhaps the man was half-asleep, but Ennoshita is met with the completely lucid and intent stare of his lover.

“Of course I am!” Tanaka brushes the knuckles of one hand along Ennoshita’s cheek.

“There’s no Shinto priest in this country that will marry us!” Despite saying this, Ennoshita’s chest is about to burst from happiness. There’s no one else in the world he could imagine asking him this, no one else could bring him so much happiness.

“Who cares! They live at the bottom of the other side of the mountain!” He pulls Ennoshita closer. “We have all we need. Us and this mountain. The gods will watch over us, just as they always have.”

“Nothing in the world will make me happier, Ryuu.” Ennoshita tucks his hand under the crease of Tanaka’s Kimono, pressing his palm to the skin of Tanaka’s chest, feeling the strong, steady beat of his lover’s heart. “The gods will marry us.”

 

-x-

 

When they wake the next morning, Ennoshita’s beyond excited. They gather their finest kimonos (they’re simple things, Tanaka’s is dark blue and Ennoshita’s is a white kimono Tanaka made for him), helping each other dress, laughing all the while. The sun shines brightly above them.

They walk outside, slowly with their arms linked and wide, toothy grins. They don’t look away from each other; they can’t. Eventually, they make it to the oldest and tallest tree in their garden and they face each other, holding hands.

 

I give you my heart

My soul is yours

By the grace of the gods

I’ll love you forever

All the days of my life

And thereafter

 

“I love you, Chikara.” Tanaka pulls Ennoshita towards him and all of nature around them sings when they kiss.

 _I love you more._ Ennoshita thinks and lets this thought shine through as he throws his arms across Tanaka’s broad shoulders.

The gods watch over them, just as they always had.

 

-x-

 

“What if we had six dogs?” Ennoshita wipes the sweat from his forehead with his sleeve, smiling at Tanaka’s question. He adjusts the basket he holds in front of him. It is their first summer together and they’re expanding their little garden a bit further.

“What would they eat?” Ennoshita glances behind him, finding Tanaka in his yukata, sleeves rolled up as he brought down the soil plow.

“Do you think they’d like mochi?” Tanaka pauses and sends Ennoshita a blindingly bright smile.

“Dogs eat meat! It’d be mean to make them eat mochi, Ryuu!” Ennoshita laughs as he resumes gathering beans. “Why do you suddenly want dogs, Ryuu?”

“Oh well…” The sound of Tanaka’s movements stops and all that is left is the chirping of the cicadas. “Since we can’t have kids I thought that maybe we could…”

Ennoshita nearly drops everything he’s holding as he whirls around to face Tanaka. The other man looks at him nervously. “K-Kids..?”

“Y-Yes...I-I..unless you didn’t..?” This time Ennoshita really does drop his basket and rushes up to Tanaka. Tanaka immediately let’s go of the heavy plow in his hands to catch Ennoshita in midair. Ennoshita wraps his arms across Tanaka’s shoulders, pressing his lips into the crook of Tanaka’s neck.

“Kids!” He pulls back to look Tanaka in the eye and Tanaka forgets how to breathe. Ennoshita’s eyes sparkle and gleam like nothing he’s seen before. Tanaka doesn’t even have the air to answer, let alone actually have an answer. “H-How many?”

“S-Six? Maybe eight? I’ve always wanted to raise a big family with you-” Tanaka’s sentence is interrupted when Ennoshita pulls him down for a kiss.

“Six kids!” Ennoshita punctuates each word with a kiss, smiling all the way through. “No! Eight!”

“Well, biologically we can’t-”

“I don’t care,” Ennoshita whispers, inhaling the smell of Tanaka. “A family with you...one day...I want a family with you…”

Tanaka cradles the back of Ennoshita’s head with one large hand, pulling Ennoshita even closer. “You make me the happiest man in the world.”

 

* * *

 

Four springs pass by in happiness. However, not even the gods can stop fate.

 

* * *

 

青葉照る夏の午後    あなたが病に倒れた

_One leaf-lit summer afternoon, you collapsed from illness_

貧しい夫婦暮らしではあなたを治す薬は買えない

_Our poor married life cannot afford the medicine to heal you._

 

* * *

 

“How’s that?” Ennoshita helps Tanaka put on a new yukata and smooths his palms over his lover’s shoulders.

“Fits great! I love it!” Tanaka spins a little to show it off to its maker. He runs his hand over the fabric on his chest. “It doesn’t even feel hot!”

Ennoshita just smiles; this summer is the hottest they’d experienced so far. He was just glad that over the winter months he used their loom and their yarn to make new clothes for them, otherwise he would have had to use their heavier fabrics.

 

-x-

 

_“Hey, you’re really good at that!” Tanaka exclaimed as he watched Ennoshita push the loom._

_“I’ve learned a couple things,” Ennoshita answered cryptically. Tanaka walked over to the window to shut it and keep the cold autumn air out of their home. “I just need to learn how to make multi-coloured fabrics.”_

_“I can teach you!” Tanaka didn’t wait for an answer, instead he sat behind Ennoshita, trapping him between his legs. “So you take this and…”_

_Ennoshita leaned back, watching as Tanaka’s rough, calloused hands gently laid colour after colour onto the loom. He turned his head and pressed a kiss to the column of Tanaka’s neck. Tanaka’s movements were smooth and slightly hypnotic as he pushed and pulled, creating a beautiful piece._

_“I’ll make this for you.” Ennoshita smiled up at Tanaka, who had his tongue peeking from his lips in concentration. “I’m going to make you the best kimono in the land, Chikara!”_

_“Anything you give me will be the best in the land,” Ennoshita wrapped his arms around Tanaka, halting his movements. “Make love to me.”_

_“I’ll give you anything your heart desires, Chikara.” Tanaka lifted Ennoshita’s chin to kiss him._

_“I only want you.”_

 

-x-

 

“Is it really okay to wear this out when we work the field, Chikara?” Tanaka looks down worriedly at his new yukata as they make their way through the garden.

“Of course! I made it for you, Ryuu!” Tanaka looks over with a smile. He quickly pulls Ennoshita to him.

“This’ll give me even more power today!” Ennoshita’s laughter is swallowed by Tanaka’s kiss.

“We’re losing daylight!”

A few hours later, Ennoshita kneels down for what feels like the thousandth time that day. He has a small smile on his lips though; it’s their fifth summer together and though they still don’t have children, Ennoshita is even happier than when Tanaka first told him he loved him. He can hardly believe that they’ve been together for five years and even though they are poor and their belongings are still meager, Tanaka never ceases to amaze him.

Tanaka is always the one to bring light to Ennoshita’s day. He brings love and laughter like nobody else. Ennoshita feels incredibly lucky to have Tanaka, to love Tanaka. It’s really just them up in this mountain; the village is quite far away, but Ennoshita is never lonely. Not with a man like Tanaka by his side who fills him with more happiness than he could ever ask for.

“Ryuu, sweetheart, do you want to-” Ennoshita feels his heart fall to the ground when he hears Tanaka cough and choke violently behind him. He drops everything to run over to Tanaka who has fallen to his knees. He cannot contain his heartbroken wail when he holds Tanaka; his lover’s hands and yukata are covered in the blood he’s coughing up.

“I-I’m s-sorry, Ch-Chikara..” Ennoshita holds Tanaka tighter. No. This cannot be happening. This is not happening.

Ennoshita can hardly see through his tears as he leans Tanaka against him to bring him home. He knocks over nearly everything as he scrambles to lay out their futon. He changes Tanaka out of his yukata, cleans off his beloved’s face and hands, and dresses him in a kimono when Tanaka starts shivering.

 

-

 

“W-What’s happening, sensei?” The young doctor doesn’t even have the heart to offer a consoling smile as he slides the rice door to the room shut. Takeda looks at the young man in front of him with as gentle a gaze he can offer.

“He’s...the man you love...is very ill…” He can barely force himself to say what he has to say, but Ennoshita silently pleads with a teary gaze. “There’s a medicine for it, but…”

“But what, sensei?” Takeda glances purposefully at the couple’s meager home. Ennoshita’s heart is beating loudly in his ears.

“It’s very, very expensive because it’s difficult to create…” Ennoshita feels his heart stop and his arms fall to his side, lifelessly. But then he gets an idea…

He runs to their closet, pulling out a small roll of silk fabric. It’s not enough to sell because there’s not enough fabric to really make anything, but this should show its quality. “Do y-you think this will sell, sensei?”

Takeda gently takes the white silk from Ennoshita’s shaking hands. He passes the smooth fabric through his fingers. “This is a very fine silk. Did you make this?” Ennoshita nods quickly. “It can sell, but...you will need a lot…”

“I’ll make it.” Ennoshita’s tears fall quickly down his cheeks. “I’ll do anything for Ryuu to live. I can’t...I can’t live without him.”

 

* * *

 

季節は流れて夏の終わりを告げる鈴虫がリン、と鳴く

_The season passes and the bell crickets chirp to signal the end of the summer_

「綺麗な指だね」と傷だらけの手を握る、その手があまりにも冷たくて･･･

_“Such beautiful fingers,” you say, but your hand gripping my scraped fingers is too, too cold…_

 

* * *

 

Ennoshita has never worked the loom so fast and so hard in all his life. He hisses at the first cut he receives. He sticks his finger in his mouth to stem the bleeding as he searches for their bandages. As soon as his finger is wrapped, he returns, taking care not to spill any blood from the increasing cuts on his fingers onto the fine, white silk.

He doesn’t notice the days go by as he weaves. The only thing on his mind is his sick husband who needs the medicine this silk will buy. Days turn to weeks and weeks turn to months and soon it is autumn again, but Ennoshita still does not have enough silk. The doctor came by once, gathering what silk Ennoshita had so he could help the frantic man sell it and returned with a bottle the size of his forearm.

It isn’t a lot, the doctor said, but it should tide Tanaka over.

It helps for a while; Tanaka even has the strength to sit up and listen to Ennoshita as the man sings at the loom. But their little bit of grace is almost gone and Ennoshita breaks off another feather.

 

-x-

 

It is the middle of their fifth autumn together and Ennoshita no longer winces when he scrapes his fingers on the loom. Tanaka coughs for a while and Ennoshita gets up worriedly, leaving the loom mid-weave. He quickly pours Tanaka water and helps the man drink, smoothing his hand down Tanaka’s chest. Ennoshita doesn’t even cover his sniffles.

They put down the cup together and Ennoshita is about to get back up to return to the loom, but Tanaka weakly closes a hand around Ennoshita’s wrist. “D-Don’t go, Ch-Chikara…”

Ennoshita adjusts so that Tanaka can rest his head in his lap. They are quiet for a few moments. “Y-You have such beautiful fingers, Chikara…”

“I-If my hands were no longer beautiful, would you still love me?” Ennoshita swallows thickly, already knowing Tanaka’s answer.

“Of course I will,” He whispers as he holds Ennoshita’s scraped and cut hand in his, pressing it to his cheek.

Ennoshita is moved to tears, but cannot say anything. Even like this, Tanaka still finds the strength to make him happy, but his tears fall faster once he realizes Tanaka’s hands are far too cold for someone who has been laying close to their fire.

 

* * *

 

昼も夜も機を織り続けて　早く早く、薬を買わなければ･･･

(―  あぁ... 嗚呼落日の風 ―)

_Day and night, weaving by the loom   Hurry, I must hurry, and buy the medicine._

_(-Aah…The breeze of the sunset-)_

もう少し、あと少し、紅葉が散る前に

(―  無情に朽ちていく実の  ―)

_A little more, just a bit longer, before the maple leaves shed_

_(-Cruelly blows out the life-)_

この指が止まるまで･･･　この羽が、尽きるまで･･･

(―  灯火を揺らし　落とす  ―)

_Until my fingers stop… Until I run out of my feathers…_

_(-Of rotting fruit, dropping them to earth-)_

 

* * *

 

Ennoshita weaves and weaves, the days all melt together and soon enough, it is winter again. He gets up to stoke their fire; they have plenty of wood.

“But not enough silk,” Ennoshita clenches his hands at his sides, grinding his teeth through his tears. He’s running out of time…

And he’s running out of feathers…

His breath hitches, catching in the knot in his throat from his tears, when he hears Tanaka go through another coughing fit that they don’t have the money or medicine to heal. Ennoshita shuffles into their room and he cannot hold in his whimper in seeing how pale Tanaka has become. He kneels beside his beloved’s head, gently wiping away the blood at the corners of his mouth. Tanaka is still breathing, but it is laboured and shallow and his eyes are closed.

Ennoshita falls forward, gently pressing his forehead on Tanaka’s, and tears fall from his eyes to slide down Tanaka’s cheek.

“Don’t cry, Chikara. I’m still here,” Tanaka’s voice is nothing but a whisper, but still he cradles Ennoshita’s cheek in his hand.

“I...I don’t have enough...Ryuu…” Ennoshita’s tears fall faster and he cannot catch his breath.

“Sh, that’s okay. As long as I have you, I’ll be better in no time.” Tanaka rubs his thumb along Ennoshita’s cheekbone. Ennoshita lays beside Tanaka, sneaking in under the covers, wrapping himself around his dying lover. “I’m not going anywhere.”

They are silent for a few moments and Tanaka seems asleep.

“If one day, I am no longer human, would you still love me?” There is no answer so Ennoshita closes his eyes as the hold around him tightens. He starts sobbing into Tanaka’s chest.

“The first time we met, it was snowing.” Ennoshita’s eyes snap open to find Tanaka looking gently down at him. Tanaka cards his fingers through Ennoshita’s hair. “You were...so beautiful…then...”

Ennoshita’s mouth opens and closes multiple times, but he cannot form a reply. Tanaka chuckles lightly. “Your leg was stuck in a crane’s trap…”

His tears start falling down in earnest because Tanaka knew the whole time.

“I helped you escape...I remember thinking… ‘That is the most beautiful crane I have ever seen’...” Tanaka’s eyes fill with tears as he strokes Ennoshita’s cheeks with his thumbs. “You, my love, are the most beautiful person I have ever laid eyes on and you always will be.”

 

* * *

 

「当たり前だよ」って　僕は笑い翼を失くした君を抱きしめ、言った

_“Of course I will,” I smile, embracing you, who has lost your wings._

綺麗に羽ばたいた　あの日の鶴をずっと、今でも覚えているよ

_Even now, I will always remember, the crane that flew so beautifully on that day._

 

そして　変わらず君を　愛しているよ

_And even now, I still love you._

 

* * *

 

I give you my heart

My soul is yours

By the grace of the gods

I’ll love you forever

All the days of my life

And thereafter

 

* * *

 

Takeda Ittetsu stumbles up the mountain pass as fast as he possibly can. He runs into the Tanaka home, calling Ennoshita’s name, but he receives no answer. He eyes the half-woven white silk still on the loom and his heart breaks at the tiny red splotches on the edges. He calls for Ennoshita again, but he is met with silence, so he carefully pulls back the closed rice paper door.

He falls to his knees and cries into his palms as the wind scatters the soft white feathers from the room to his feet. He is too late.

…

 

…

 

…

 

It is the first day of spring.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Catch me @stillwritinghallelujah where I'll post...something in the next few days for you who are unsatisfied.


End file.
